The second time I overdosed,
my body couldn’t handle it,
and I threw it all up.
I texted my dad saying,
“I think I took a little too many pills”.
And every time I’ve overdosed,
I always downplay it.
I’ve always tried to act
like it wasn’t a big deal.
That having the urge to swallow a whole bottle of pills
was something daily that normal people do.
My dad hurried home and saw the empty bottle
and he shook me to make sure I was awake.
I kept mumbling “I threw it up.. I threw it up..”
while I was drifting off to sleep.
He had to wake me up every 15 minutes
to make sure I was okay.
Let me tell you now,
it is a big deal.
The third time I overdosed,
I slept through first and second period
and passed out in the counselor’s office.
I didn’t want to go to the ER.
I just wanted to go home.
All I wanted to do was sleep.
Again, I just said,
“I think I took too many pills this morning.”
The fifth time I overdosed,
my dad found the empty pill box.
I hallucinated, I had a fever.
I couldn’t move my legs.
All I could do was scream,
“Don’t take me to the hospital this time.
I don’t want to go!”
I became friends with a girl who had overdosed
she’s one of my best friends now
and when I heard she was hospitalized as well,
it just makes me realize how real this problem is.
A couple months ago, another friend of mine overdosed.
Do you realize how fucked up it is,
that I’ve done it so many times
that I know the exact procedure that she’s going to go through?
She messaged me saying,
“I took a bunch of pills,
but I just realized I didn’t want to die.
I don’t know what to do.
And I’m screaming at her over the screen
that she should throw it up and call 911
because sometimes when someone you love
decides that they hate the world,
that’s all you can do.
You can’t teleport through the phone.
You can’t travel through the internet.
You can’t be there to hold them
and take them to the hospital.
Your love is not charcoal that can
absorb all their poison in their life.
I know, love that you would have done all you could.
Sometimes words aren’t enough.
Sometimes love isn’t enough.
Sometimes a person needs to try dying
to know that that’s not really what they want.
There’s nothing you could have done.
You’ve done all you could.
Just keep loving them.
But you see the thing is,
I got lucky.
I’ve made it back from 5 overdoses
without a scratch on me.
But that’s not always the case.
My favorite teacher’s stepdaughter
locked herself in her room and overdosed.
To this day,
her stepmother still has a scar on her heart.
To this day,
on the anniversary of her death,
her stepmother still stays home from school
on the anniversary of her death.
Her sister is in a bad mental state,
and so is her biological mother.
Her family has fallen apart.
You overdose because you think
you will get a peaceful release from death.
It’s not peaceful.
It is not like falling asleep.
It is convulsions, vomiting,
muscle spasms, fevers,
and sharp stomach pains.
An overdose is not instant.
Hollywood has you believing,
that an overdose
is how a lady should exit the world.
As quiet as she came in,
Peaceful and unnoticed.
You will go out kicking and screaming
and wishing you hadn’t taken them.
6:03 p.m. (I think I’m done overdosing)
Dedicated to Rae
One of the best scenes of Malcolm in the Middle ever.
that fucking kid took one for the team
IF YOU DON’T GET THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PANSEXUALS AND BISEXUALS THEN you’re pretty normal i mean lots of people use the definitions and words interchangeably so your confusion is valid and not at all bigoted as some might say
dude sometimes even we get confused like i thought i was bisexual for 7 years before i actually realised i’m pansexual
I like this post.
my friend has black hair and the initials PM while her boyfriend has blonde hair and the initials AM and she told me that they joke that theyre ‘as different as night and day’ and i fell on the floor that shit was so adorable
1. Steve Rogers is not just some dumb soldier who follows orders, he thinks outside the box and asks questions and considers consequences.
2. Peggy Carter had plans to eat that boy alive before he became a delicious roast beefcake in Howard Stark’s hottie machine.
3. I don’t understand people who didn’t enjoy this movie.
LAUGHING FOREVER AT #2 BECAUSE PERFECTION
Roast beefcake is just added bonus:
This is literally a Tumblr classroom.
reblog if u want to go on a perfect date like this
this could be us but u playin
Do you ever wonder if your family wonders if you’re gay.
My mom told me twice that if I was gay then she would be okay with it. So i don’t have to wonder…
Funny thing is that they asked her the first few months that I was her boyfriend.
"You’re the straightest gay guy I kn-"
"You’re not like those other gay people who go to those awful pride para-"
"You’re gay? Then why don’t you hit on me or other gu-"
"I have this other gay friend, you’d be a perfect cou-"
"At least you act norm-"
"I’m straight but would you suck my dick for 20 dol-"
You are not some kind of a saint because you “still think women are beautiful” without makeup on. You do not get brownie points for not being disgusted by women in their natural state. Some women wear a little makeup, some women wear a lot, some women wear none at all and men’s opinions about it are less than worthless. Because we don’t fucking wear it for you.